like! people always reference pride & prejudice as the archetypal “normal girl falls for mysterious brooding antihero” story but they overlook the part where lizzy drags darcy so fucking hard he leaves town and then apologizes for talking to her the next time they meet even though they’re at his literal house
imagine talking about alexander the great and not mentioning that he died of grief only 8 months after hephaestion died, that he petitioned the oracle to give haphaestion literal divine status so that people could worship him as a god, that he threw himself on haphaestion’s dead body and refused to leave for two days, that he put together the biggest funeral procession known to the world at the time, that he gave haphaestion a lock of his own hair at the funeral in blatant reference to achilles doing the same with patroclus….like heteronormativity is so wild that he could come back from the dead and come out to every historian personally and it still wouldn’t be enough to render him anything but straight
Finally saw Venom last night and I have to say, people who said they were disappointed by the Venom/Eddie kiss because it was done through a female Venom (Anne) and it’s like?? I don’t know about you, but there was a wholesome OT3/4 going on in Venom and not a single one questioned their feelings??
I’ll admit, when Eddie revisited Anne, who got into a relationship with Dan six months after breaking off her engagement with Eddie (for reasons shown in the film), I figured I was not gonna like Dan, but no. NO. Dan was a goddamn MAN. SECURE AS HELL. A GODDAMN DOCTOR TO THE END. Eddie, his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend who may be a drug addict because he’s acting sketch as hell?? He could have gotten Eddie arrested for making a scene at the restaurant, could have been That Guy, but nope. Guy takes him to the hospital to do tests. Legitimately gives a shit about him and consoles him after a failed MRI, fucking FOLLOWS UP with lab results on what looks like his break, and did not question why Anne and Eddie were spending time with each other and was more concerned about Eddie’s parasite. Dan was compassionate as hell!! Said to Eddie, “but it’s going to be okay; were going to put you on medications, buddy.” And Eddie just respects him, at no point does he insult Dan. just mature ass men, my GOD 😭😭
And then Anne!! Badass as I knew she would be, but also set boundaries without shutting out the possibility of getting closure with Eddie. And yeah, we saw Eddie pining after Anne and it could have easily gone into a love triangle plot, but it honestly showed healthier communication between people having complex feelings than I’ve ever seen in the main MCU films.
Venom ain’t got time for bullshit. Gets straight to the point. “What actually made you stay?” “You, Eddie.” If that ain’t some romance cheese, I don’t know what is. The love was EVERYWHERE
Venom and Eddie are We, Venom and Eddie like Anne, Anne is there for support and for rescue but on her terms, Dr. Dan does his job. I legit would 100% be okay with Anne and Dan just taking in Eddie as their third, Venom and all, and they all just keep telling each other how much they care about each other, just constantly. I know it won’t happen, but I can dream.
Anyway, loved the film. Fun ride, good time. Were there issues? Probably, but in the world we live in where they’re trying to tell me A Star Is Born had a better romance than Venom, like who cares?
Why aren’t Fruit Bat Vampires a thing???? Like they have 15 fridges or somehing and are obsessed with watermelons and pineapples. They are more day-light and people friendly. Like super chill. They love just chilling in flowerbeds. They like to farm and garden. “Why would you attack a human WHEN YOU COULD HAVE THIS NECTARINE??”
…that’s adorable I need one.
Always drinking fruit juice, always inviting you to the damn smoothie bar, always at the damn farmer’s market
They bug their werewolf friends to eat more fruit. ‘You’ll get scurvy if all you eat is porkchops!’
That awkward moment when a 4am post pops back on your dash XD
It’s 4pm here and I still love this idea
Look, @smurflewis, you asked a question that needs answering.
“You’re not drinking, Count?”
The count gave a small smile, expressing rueful regret as he gazed at the deep red liquid swirling in his guest’s glass and replied; “I do not drink…. vine…. “
From behind his cape he pulled out a small box with a picture of a happy looking parrot emblazoned on it, a bendy straw sticking out of the top; “Now grape juice.. zat I can chug like zere is no tomorrow!”
OKAY BUT I’D READ AN ENTIRE BOOK ABOUT INCONGRUOUS VAMPIRES AND OTHER MONSTERS.
LIKE I REALLY WOULD.
Except guys, the fruitbats are mostly from the, area between India and Australia.
So fruitbat vampires would not have a Romanian/Hungarian accent, they’d sound Indian or Fillipino or Aussie or something.
So more like:
“Yeah mate, these poppers are heaps good. Don’t know why you fools go are all for O positive.”
This post killed the age old bloodsucking stereotype vampire for me, forever pretty much. Have a mangosucker instead.
Some people always get super salty when they come asking for help with a “ghost haunting” and the first thing i ask them is “have you checked your living space for carbon monoxide”.
Like maybe you thought coming to a witch you’d get some neat spell or some shit, but a big part of being a (good) witch is also looking at what is in front of you and ruling out some basic things first, and a lot of the things people describe to me when it comes to ghost hauntings also sound a helluva lot like carbon monoxide poisoning. So like sorry for giving a shit over whether or not you’re actually about to die or not I guess *shrug emoji*
Like I know we joke about my house being haunted (and maybe it is) but when the lights flicker in my house I don’t do a cleansing spell, I call an electrician. You gotta do the physical world things first before you jump to the metaphysical. That’s just how it is.
Tonight at Walmart I saw a little boy ask a little girl if he could hug her because he liked her sweater. The girl (these kids looked to be about 5, MAYBE 6) said no, so the boy said “okay. I like your sweater. Bye.” And then ran back to his parents.
He said to his Dad “I didn’t hug her because she said no, but I told her I liked her sweater!” And his dad said “Cool buddy!” And they went on with their shopping trip.
If a small child understands the ‘complex’ concept of consent, and the meaning of the word ‘no’, then so should everyone else.
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