Tag: text posts

quicksilver-rain:

quicksilver-rain:

quicksilver-rain:

One of the contractors at work drove past my shack on a forklift yesterday, stopped, backed up to my window and said, “hey, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

My knee jerk response when asked this, even if it’s by a companionable dude old enough to be my dad, is to go, “uh, nah-” and then ramble uncomfortably until someone stops me-

-which is what I started to do, only to be cut off by Contractor saying, in an embarrassed rush, “some of the guys were asking me because you and I talk sometimes, but I didn’t want them to hit on you at work, so I told them that you Worship the Devil and would Hex them if they tried. I’m sorry.”

Which leaves me wheezing helplessly, trying to get my shit together, because this is honestly one of the nicest, most hysterical things I’ve ever heard someone say to me.

Oblivious to this, Contractor then follows up with, “and they were like ‘forreal??’ so I was like, ‘yeah, she’s probably a sadist, too, you can tell by her jewelry. She’ll stab you or something.’”

And tbh I can’t even come up with anything witty to say in response, so all I manage to choke out is, “pleASE LET THEM CONTINUE TO THINK THAT, I’M BEGGING YOU.”

And Contractor just smiles and is like, “Okay! I just wanted to let you know!” before driving off with his forklift.

Like?? Thank god for Contractor tbh. He’s an angel among men, and I hope the rest of his life is filled with prosperity and happiness and like, that he finds $20 on the ground every week for the rest of his life.

Update: Every time Contractor sees me, he does a little Devil Horns gesture at me and its adorable.

Update the Second: I saw Contractor while doing my tour and he told me that the guy that asked if I was single was around, and that if I saw him, I should just make complicated hand gestures at him while I walk by to scare him off.

This guy’s a fuckin gem.

toomanylokifeels:

shaylogic:

shaylogic:

Bb MCU Loki: *scrapes knee* mom why is my blood blue

Frigga, super Done and staying out of it: ask your father

Loki: dad, why do I have blue blood?

Odin, sweating: because you’re royalty, of course

Thor: *scrapes elbow* dad, i’m royalty, too, right? Why’s my blood red?

Odin, sweating bullets: you’re adopted

Odin panicking and telling Thor he’s the adopted one instead is peak comedy.

bara-paladin:

In 2019 we grow from sex positivity to sex responsibility, meaning we:

  • call out shitty people who are just abusers and using kink/polyamory to mask it and stop supporting them
  • recognize that sometimes hypersexuality can be a form a self-harm for some people
  • keep kinks and fetishes in appropriate spaces and not bringing them out into general public spaces and thereby involving people in scenes they aren’t consenting to 
  • understand that some fetishes are inherently unhealthy and some illegal to actually engage in for good reason and ignoring that is irresponsible at best