why-animals-do-the-thing:

tyrantisterror:

Tyrannosaurus was not the most dangerous animal in the park.  Having imprinted on its handler since infancy, the creature maintained a docile temperament all the way to adulthood, and indeed seemed to prefer feeding from its designated trough to pursuing prey.  Its interactions with staff and guests showed at most a mild curiosity, and the only real terror the beast inspired was when it snuck up on trainers to sniff their hats.

The raptors were not the most dangerous animals in the park.  Hollywood had greatly exaggerated their size, first of all, and while they had a mischievous streak (one individual in particular was fond of stealin zookeepers’ wallets), they were far from the hyper-intelligent murder lizards everyone expected.  Their intelligence was less of the predatory sort and more the comical intelligence of a corvid, devoted mostly to play and caring for their fellow flock members.

The mosasaur was not the most dangerous animal in the park.  Though it held no loyalty to the zookeepers, it had taken to training well enough, and would dutifully move to a specific section of the tank when signaled, giving the keepers space to carry out any business they needed to accomplish in its tank without fear of harm.

No, by far the most dangerous animal in the park was the Struthiomimus.  Everyone expected it to be easy – what were these animals in pop culture beyond being fodder for the carnivores?  Surely the bird-mimics couldn’t be much of a hassle.  Sadly, they weren’t just any bird mimics.

No, in temperament, the Struthiomimus mimicked a swan.

Highly territorial and vicious to the bone, more keepers had suffering brutal beatings by the struthis than had been hurt by the rest of the park’s fauna combined.  And when they learned to chew through the fences…

Well, let’s just say the Tyrannosaurus never experienced a more terrifying day in her life.

This is my new favorite story. 

nocturnaltherapist:

blue-author:

prokopetz:

My advice when folks are struggling with writing in the third-person omniscient is
to Lemony Snicket it up. Give your omniscient narrator strong opinions
about what’s going on. Don’t fall into the trap of assuming that the
third-person omniscient perspective must also use the objective voice;
those are two separate things, and many of the most popular and successful writers who’ve written in the third-person omniscient do not, in fact, use the objective voice.

“Willingness to admit the narrative has a voice” is, I think, a big part of what makes young adult literature so much more engaging than a lot of books marketed at adults, particularly adult men.

“Lemony Snicket it up” is a very good phrase and very good advice

forlovefromfear:

twilightmademegay:

3denali:

twilightmademegay:

In the Twilight universe, “vegetarian” vampires have golden eyes from drinking animal blood, a more ethical source than human blood, which would give them red eyes. It has also been established that a diet of human blood makes vampires physically stronger. So, if the Cullens wanted to become stronger without jeopardizing their morals, could they consume mosquitoes instead? How many mosquitoes would they have to eat to survive? Since mosquitoes drink from both humans and animals, what color would their eyes be? Orange? In this essay, I will

on average an adult has about 4.5-5.5 liters of blood circulating in their body. a female mosquito, when completely full, can hold up to 0.001-0.01 milliliters of blood in their abdomen depending on the species. if we take the average of both (5 liters & 0.0055 milliliters), it would take around 909,090 mosquitos to equal the amount of blood in a single human. although there isnt an exact number of the entirety of the mosquito population, we can use fermi estimation. there is about 57 million square miles of total land area on earth, while say 50 million square miles are habitable for mosquitos. with a rough of estimate of 1 mosquito per 50 square feet (overestimate due to area and time of year). after multiplying the numbers and fixing the units, there is a rough estimated 70 quadrillion mosquitos. theoretically, if a vampire lived in a mosquito dense area, such as brazil, indonesia, malaysia, thailand, etc, and could sustainably hunt around a million mosquitos to fill themselves every time they needed to feed, there would be enough mosquitos to survive on due to their large population and fast reproduction.

This is honestly everything I have ever wanted thank you for your contribution to the cause

Hey guys I think I figured out why vampires can turn into bats

ozzyozmcozman:

sensicalabsurdities:

patchworkheart:

natural–blues:

moonwaningcrescent:

If you ask yourself “Would Gomez Addams treat me this way?” And the answer is no, move tf on from that situation.

If you’re a wlw ask if Morticia would ever treat you this way.

If the answer is no, move on.

“Is this how an Addams would behave?” Is the best way to make sure you’re being treated fairly and with love

Except maybe not for sibling relationships because Wednesday likes to try to guillotine her brother.

no that’s just how siblings are