The realization that somewhere, in-universe, there’s some audio tech who had t design Darth Vader’s voice.
I mean- Palpatine oversaw all the aspects of Vader’s suit development, right? Which naturally includes his voice since Vader’s vocal cords got pretty darn crisped.
So some audio tech not only had to design the new voice for Darth Vader, the Emperor’s terrifying new right hand and enforcer, but probably had to go to planning meetings with and get feedback from Palpatine.
Palpatine: No. Up the bass. I want his voice to rumble through you like a thunderstorm on Kamino.
Palpatine: Also give him just a bit of a Coruscanti accent. He’s gotta sound cultured and intimidating.
Palpatine: And up all the input. Darth Vader must not sound like he’s mumbling.
Palpatine: And put a shield on the microphone. We can’t have him popping all his plosives, that’s just going to drive me crazy.
Update: I have been informed by @diaryofawriter that our hapless Audio Technician’s name is Chad, and he’s a little bit crazy.
Boss: “WTF are you doing, chad?”
Chad: “Designing Darth Vader’s voice.”
Boss: “WHY IS THAT BREATHING PLAYING ON A LOOP?!?”
Chad: “freaky, yeah?”
Boss: *did not sign up for this* “YOU’RE A PSYCHO, CHAD”Chad just goes to town on this project. If the Emperor wants Vader’s voice to be extra, might as well make it EXTRA.
He adds in subharmonics so that just the sound of Vader breathing makes people uneasy. And that feeling gets worse when he actually talks. Do something with the audio encoding so it sounds like Vader’s voice is coming from all around you. He’s standing right in front of you, but you also can’t shake the feeling that he’s right behind you and breathing down your neck. When in doubt, ADD MORE BASS.
If he could give Vader’s voice a cape he would, but he settles for a little reverb.
I love this so much ❤
To test Vader’s voice, he recorded it saying “BOM BOM BOM” and gave it to a local space pizza delivery guy to play in his ship every time he got sent out.
There may also be a clip of the Darth Vader voice ‘singing’ along with the Imperial March.
Tag: text posts
This idea that people should never relate to villains is so bizarre to me? Like? A villain that’s 0% relatable is a failed villain because part of the horror of villains is the way you see the steps that led them to where they are.
A good villain should leave you wondering what, exactly, separates you and the protagonist from them. A good villain should make you feel empathy, should make you understand how they got to be where they are, should be a little bit uncomfortably close-to-home. That’s what makes villains interesting
But a good villain should make that empathy a chilling experience..because they took impulses or beliefs you can see yourself in, and took them to a point we no longer believe in–“Too Far”. A good villain should show us the danger of our own qualities when taken in extremes.
Empathizing with a villain shouldn’t be about siding with them (or fetishizing them) but about being unnerved by the side of us who could get there too, if we allowed it.
Things that make me happy:
The realization that somewhere, in-universe, there’s some audio tech who had t design Darth Vader’s voice.
I mean- Palpatine oversaw all the aspects of Vader’s suit development, right? Which naturally includes his voice since Vader’s vocal cords got pretty darn crisped.
So some audio tech not only had to design the new voice for Darth Vader, the Emperor’s terrifying new right hand and enforcer, but probably had to go to planning meetings with and get feedback from Palpatine.
Palpatine: No. Up the bass. I want his voice to rumble through you like a thunderstorm on Kamino.
Palpatine: Also give him just a bit of a Coruscanti accent. He’s gotta sound cultured and intimidating.
Palpatine: And up all the input. Darth Vader must not sound like he’s mumbling.
Palpatine: And put a shield on the microphone. We can’t have him popping all his plosives, that’s just going to drive me crazy.
Update: I have been informed by @diaryofawriter that our hapless Audio Technician’s name is Chad, and he’s a little bit crazy.
Boss: “WTF are you doing, chad?”
Chad: “Designing Darth Vader’s voice.”
Boss: “WHY IS THAT BREATHING PLAYING ON A LOOP?!?”
Chad: “freaky, yeah?”
Boss: *did not sign up for this* “YOU’RE A PSYCHO, CHAD”Chad just goes to town on this project. If the Emperor wants Vader’s voice to be extra, might as well make it EXTRA.
He adds in subharmonics so that just the sound of Vader breathing makes people uneasy. And that feeling gets worse when he actually talks. Do something with the audio encoding so it sounds like Vader’s voice is coming from all around you. He’s standing right in front of you, but you also can’t shake the feeling that he’s right behind you and breathing down your neck. When in doubt, ADD MORE BASS.
If he could give Vader’s voice a cape he would, but he settles for a little reverb.
Things that make me happy:
The realization that somewhere, in-universe, there’s some audio tech who had t design Darth Vader’s voice.
I mean- Palpatine oversaw all the aspects of Vader’s suit development, right? Which naturally includes his voice since Vader’s vocal cords got pretty darn crisped.
So some audio tech not only had to design the new voice for Darth Vader, the Emperor’s terrifying new right hand and enforcer, but probably had to go to planning meetings with and get feedback from Palpatine.
Palpatine: No. Up the bass. I want his voice to rumble through you like a thunderstorm on Kamino.
Palpatine: Also give him just a bit of a Coruscanti accent. He’s gotta sound cultured and intimidating.
Palpatine: And up all the input. Darth Vader must not sound like he’s mumbling.
Palpatine: And put a shield on the microphone. We can’t have him popping all his plosives, that’s just going to drive me crazy.
Update: I have been informed by @diaryofawriter that our hapless Audio Technician’s name is Chad, and he’s a little bit crazy.
Boss: “WTF are you doing, chad?”
Chad: “Designing Darth Vader’s voice.”
Boss: “WHY IS THAT BREATHING PLAYING ON A LOOP?!?”
Chad: “freaky, yeah?”
Boss: *did not sign up for this* “YOU’RE A PSYCHO, CHAD”
you can enjoy something and still recognize that, objectively, there are severe problems and predatory practices going on by the company that sold you that something. you can enjoy it and still recognize that those problems are inexcusable.
these things do not have to be mutually exclusive, and I truly don’t understand why people act like they are.
So we know how two of the favorite superhero peril tropes are A) Threaten a Loved One and B) Villain unwittingly taking the in-civvies Hero as a hostage. Venom and Eddie’s situation presents an opportunity for a special hybrid of both.
Because honestly, both Venom and Eddie have all the subtlety of a firework stand in a bonfire and X Evil Organization is bound to tail the burly man-eating monster to Eddie’s home and
Goons, breaking down the door: Alright Brock, no more games
Eddie: What
Goons: Don’t play dumb here, Eddie. We know the truth and our employer is determined to have a long, violent chat with the bastard eating all of his men. So we’ll make this simple for you:
Goons: Where is your 10 ft tall cannibal boyfriend?
Eddie:
Venom, inside Eddie: Eddie. Eddie, tell them where he is
Eddie, going thru every stage of grief and inventing new ones: ………………..um
Venom, all up in Eddie’s everything, every slime cell of him laughing to tears: Tell them where your boyfriend is, Eddie
if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know
- a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going
- wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that
- they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not
- a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting
- a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed
- if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now
- young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it
- letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day
Things that make me happy:
The realization that somewhere, in-universe, there’s some audio tech who had t design Darth Vader’s voice.
I mean- Palpatine oversaw all the aspects of Vader’s suit development, right? Which naturally includes his voice since Vader’s vocal cords got pretty darn crisped.
So some audio tech not only had to design the new voice for Darth Vader, the Emperor’s terrifying new right hand and enforcer, but probably had to go to planning meetings with and get feedback from Palpatine.
Palpatine: No. Up the bass. I want his voice to rumble through you like a thunderstorm on Kamino.
Palpatine: Also give him just a bit of a Coruscanti accent. He’s gotta sound cultured and intimidating.
Palpatine: And up all the input. Darth Vader must not sound like he’s mumbling.
Palpatine: And put a shield on the microphone. We can’t have him popping all his plosives, that’s just going to drive me crazy.
not to be nsfw but the thought of someone smiling against my lips as we kiss? really makes a bitch’s heart flutter
yall out here being romantic on main
i just remembered this story my dad told me one time, about abraham lincoln
a guy challenged abe to a duel once. lincoln very much did not want to duel this cat.
so lincoln agreed, on the condition he got to choose the weapon. maybe that was how it generally went in 19th century dueling culture, i have no idea.
the guy said “sure”
lincoln said, “ok. broadswords.”
so that poor would-be opponent shows up on the day of the would-be duel, and abe is outside, doing, like, some quick sword warmups.
now, back in lincoln’s day, he was, as any american schoolchild can tell you, the tallest fucking dude on the entire fucking planet, so please try to even imagine the majestic reach of this stovepiped giant’s condor-like wingspan.
(wingspan plus broadsword.)
abe’s enemy takes one look at this, does some quick mental calculations on his own arm length (mortal, human), turns around and goes home.
the best part is that, as i remember it, lincoln of course had no fucking idea how to swordfight. it was the 1800s. we had guns. he’d just been, like, waving this giant sword around haphazardly, whacking at tree limbs, making his arms look as big as possible because he knew this joker could see him, and he knew that guy didn’t know that lincoln didn’t know what the hell to do with a broadsword.
anyway, i don’t actually know if that story is true or not but i really really hope it is. i would love to know that the president who defeated the confederacy was also fucking hilarious.
UPDATE: a very helpful anon just linked me to an actual account of the actual historical incident. i got a number of crucial details wrong, as it turns out.
PLOT TWIST: the real version is considerably funnier
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