merrypaws:

bitterbaristasfanfiction15213:

humdrummoloch:

769

“You are outnumbered ten to one. You will perish at my hands and the kingdom will be mine.”

“You know what? That’s fair. I quit.”

“…What?”

*sputters* you can’t DO THAT!

*hero determinedly walking away*

“Nope, it’s yours now. Try to keep things running smoothly.”

*villain runs after the hero, flailing*

“But, but… All the buildup! All the trials you’ve been through! Are you going to throw those away!?”

“Of course not! I got all this great gear and was taught by the best in all the land along the way. I’m sure the skills I gained will serve me well in the future. Oh, maybe I should ask the others if they want to start a mercenary company of our own. We could travel, see the world…”

“I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!”

“Don’t be silly, you just won an entire kingdom. Arrange yourself a flashy coronation ceremony or something, give the people a party after all the war and other nonsense, and they’ll sing your praises.”

“I never wanted the kingdom’s attention, just yours!”

*the hero pauses*