Tag: omfg

madlori:

thejgatsbykid:

the real victim in Pride and Prejudice is Georgiana Darcy, bc u know her brother spent at least two weeks lying around in his Regency Jammies eating Benjamin and Jerrold’s out of ye olde carton feeling sorry for himself bc his crush not only didn’t like him back but tore him to shreds in the process and Georgie had to deal with that and then said crush shows up at their HOUSE and she has to live w both of them probably stealing lovelorn yearning glances at each other the whole damn day while knowing if she even SUGGESTS to her brother that maybe perhaps his crush doesn’t hate his entire guts anymore he’ll just be all tragic about it bc “you don’t KNOW her Georgiana she dESPISES me and i DESERVE it”

benjamin and jerrold’s

gaycaspian:

gaycaspian:

the lord of the rings gets a lot funnier when you realise that merry and pippin were stoned out of their minds a good half of the time

imagine you and your best friend both have the munchies so you decide to
raid the local farmer’s field when you literally run into your two of
your smoking buddies from the shire and they tell you they’re hiking to
bree to meet gandalf, who you know has some top quality hash stashed on
his person at all times, so you agree to go with them and somehow end up
on a thousand-mile hike to destroy a piece of evil jewellery in a
volcano. congratulations. you’re merry and pippin now.

artisanbloodbank:

hubblegleeflower:

twentyonelizards:

wombatking:

newtgeiszler:

jesterofthetraveler:

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney – early 20th century

Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

this is david lynch erasure

Who are the female immortals?

Jenny Slate – Jazz Age Darling, bffs with Alice Roosevelt

Helena Bonham Carter – Refused an invitation to dine with Queen Victoria based on her treatment of the Irish

Lucy Liu – ran away from home to join Ching Shih, 19th century Pirate Queen’s crew. Was considered too soft for fighting and was given an accordion

Bjork – 14th century Icelandic healer accused of witchcraft, also possibly a selkie

Whoopie Goldberg – present during the Conquest of Constantinople but don’t bring it up around her, it’s too fresh in her mind

Tilda Swinton – found sleeping in a peat bog. Carbon dating inconclusive