real talk dan was the real mvp of Venom. Girlfriendās ex boyfriend shows up on your doorstep looking for her? Doesnāt act like a controlling possessive douche like so many other men in movies. Anneās ex boyfriend shows up AGAIN while theyāre on a date in a fancy restaurant, makes a scene and then crawls into the lobster tank? Heās obviously sick so Dan takes him to the hospital where he can run tests and help him. Okay now Anneās ex boyfriend turns out to have been infected by a sentient alien parasite? Heās got questions but all in all he rolls with it and doesnāt do something stupid like rat them out like a character like him might have done in a different movie. Dan is the mvp and we stan
Peter Parker, a Gen Z kid, screws up: Fuck, guess Iāll kill myself.
Steve Rogers, an artist during the 30ās and a soldier during WWII who knows full well what Dadaism and fatalistic humor are: Thereās bleach under the sinkā
Bucky Barnes, the guy who listened to Steveās art rants in the 30ās, watched his back in WWII and went through 70+ years of shit: āAnd a rope in the supply closet if you want options.
Rest of the Avengers: ?????!!!!!!!?????
Shuri, also a gen z kid: donāt be a coward, jump out the window. Have some style would you
Vision, the human internet who knows what Gen Z humor is: do a flip
Venom: The time has come for me to return to my homeland. I must come to terms with the fact that I am no longer required here. I have lead a good life on earth, but alas, my shattered heart belongs elsewhere. Somewhere where my presence is valued, where Iām not treated like vermin, where Iām actually respected for the fearsome creature I-
I always found it a bit odd. Hilarious, but it raised too many questions. When did Steve make these? Why did Steve make these? How did he manage to be so cheesy and overly sincere knowing how much crap he would get from the other Avengers for it?
Well, today my sister told me her headcanon. Picture the scene. Steve leans on the back of a chair, as above. Peter immediately launches into āSo, you got detentionā¦ā. Cap blinks. Peter awkwardly tries to explain. It turns out Cap has no idea what videos he means, and neither do any of the other Avengers.
So they get in touch with the company who made them, and they swear blind that it was really the real Captain America, and that it all his idea. That he came in and said how much he wanted to help the youth of today.And the Avengers all lose it because someone is running around doing an unbelievably good impression of Captain America, they could have destroyed his reputation, they could have infiltrated the Avengers; and instead all they are apparently using it for is to make silly, embarrassing videos.
Itās completely baffling. Who could possibly be behind it all?
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