If my kids were magic, I would want the school to have Eliot Spencer teaching DADA not Snape.
Also because Eliot is like the best mom-type in the whole wide world.
Eliot would either not let you get away with anything or make that disgruntled sigh and help you with what ever it was you were up to while bitching about how your performing your mischief wrong the whole time
Eliot would totally be that teacher that also showed the kids how to deal with dark wizards with a knife, books and whatever else you could get your hands on before they even cast a spell.
Now I’m thinking he’s not DADA but something like herbology, just to surprise people.
I expanded on the idea over on my twitter, the basic plot being “the Leverage Crew has to unravel a conspiracy at Hogwars by pretending to be teachers, despite none of them actually having any magic” and yeah, yeah it’s basically all of this.
Like, the big plot twist would be Eliot ACTUALLY IS A WIZARD but he still thinks teaching his students martial arts in DADA is more effective than memorizing countercurses.
Other highlighs:
Hardison invents assistive devices for squibs & starts writing his own custom spells by dissecting spell linguistics and breaking them down like programming.
Parker gains a reputation in transfiguration – “She can make ANYTHING disappear!!”
Nate looks over all the low-magic classes he could pose as the teacher for, throws that list aside, and decides he’s gonna teach Charms despite having 0 magic.
Sophie is actually a squib from a pureblood family that’s why nobody can fucking figure out her origin story
What I like best about this is that we know Eliot doesn’t commit hair-trigger violence over minor things – if someone bumps into him and spills his coffee he’s likely to be annoyed, but he’s not going to automatically break their arms.
Which means that what’s happening here is Hardison, in bringing up the coffee, is giving Eliot explicit permission to break arms, and Eliot is playing into it. And the only real reason for playing into the coffee schtick is that it will amuse Hardison.
Hardison has a rule that he will never, ever hack into any Stark Industries servers. He’s heard enough horror stories, thank you kindly. The only person who he knows of who ever got anywhere is this person with the handle J.A.R.V.I.S., but he doesn’t know if that’s a rumour or not.
Nate knows every piece of art in the Stark-Potts collection and what it’s worth. He has retrieved at least four pieces. Pepper knows him by name. When he loses his job and Sterling takes over, Tony is like: why can’t we have the other one back? He’s an alcoholic? SO? I HAVE A BAR. HE CAN DRINK HERE. I DON’T LIKE THIS NEW ONE PEP.
Special agents Thomas and Hagen get assigned to SHIELD as FBI liaisons. SHIELD totally knows Parker and Hardison aren’t really FBI, but they know about Leverage and are like: eh, it’s fine, just keep them away from any alien stuff and don’t let them steal anything.
(Also, I’m not saying Melinda May and Eliot may have had a fling in the past but Melinda May and Eliot may have had a fling in the past.)
Sophie once dated Tony Stark for a weekend. She wasn’t even trying to con him, she just saw an opportunity while conning someone else and was like: you only live once. She won’t tell anyone if she slept with him or not, just smiles mysteriously and says ‘he was a perfect gentleman… until I asked him not to be’. It drives Nate insane. (What she means is they went to get greasy burgers at an all-night diner after a gala, in their fancy clothes.)
Parker likes watching videos of Black Widow and seeing if she can replicate her moves. Eliot may have been a Very Willing Test Subject for the Death By Thighs move.
There is also a week where she decides she wants to be like Hawkeye. Nate has to ban sucker darts and toy bows before Eliot murders her. Or Sophie. Or Nate himself. Hardison is immune and probably builds her a sucker dart compound bow with laser guide.
Nate has Complicated Feelings about Captain America being back because Sam used to love the comics and he’s not sure if this guy is the real deal and will live up to the hero his son worshipped.
Nate gets over himself pretty quickly when he sees Steve Rogers cuss out a Fox reporter who tried to stop him on the street to get him to condemn vaccines and universal health care. They watch the 25 minute lecture-rant at least three times as a team. Nate thinks he’d like to buy Captain America a drink.
Nobody mention the similarities between Eliot Spencer and Bucky Barnes, it will not end well.
Especially when one time, Captain America and his buddy The Falcon showed up because they got a tip Bucky was ‘working at a brewpub in Portland’ and Eliot had to let him down that sorry, he was the only long-haired murderfaced assassin at this pub. He offered them dinner on the house and very manfully made it all the way to the back of the kitchen before doing a little freak out fanboy dance because he shook Captain America’s hand, Hardison, oh my god I’m going to feed him so much chili.
They have to distract Parker from trying to steal Sam’s wings. And make her give back Steve’s wallet. Twice.
The week Wakanda made itself known to the world is the week Hardison lost the ability to speak in anything other than high pitched squeaks of delight and awe. (Hardison literally faints when his online gaming buddy shows up at the brewpub like: what up, Hardison, guess who’s actually the princess of Wakanda and has a badass invisible ship.)
My favourite thing about Leverage (other than all of it) is the fact that Alec Hardison, cinnamon roll, gentleman, and all around ray of sunshine, took one look at a human Gordian knot and the living embodiment of the raincloud emoji and said, “Yes, these ones.”
Diary's Blog 