unpretty:

unpretty:

obviously it’s gonna be variable depending on what kind of batman story you’re writing and what kinds of adventures he has (some go more gymnast, some go for brute strength, there’s a lot of options where batmen are concerned) and honestly the best way to draw batman is whatever makes you happy

BUT as far as how he’s built in sorrowful and immaculate hearts

bruce wayne is Beefy. he might have abs when he flexes but he doesn’t look like a bodybuilder. he’s got a large build and a thick waist and a layer of fat all over because he trains to be able to do specific activities and not look a certain way. he’s a gymnast to an extent, but not as much as–for instance–dick grayson. because i like for there to be contrasts, and nightwing/robin being the one who does all the sweet flips while batman mostly lurks in the shadows and emerges and looks huge and terrifying is a neat contrast. he does martial arts training but in general he actually avoids fighting if it can be helped and his focus is less on taking people down and more on being able to take a lot of abuse and keep going.

i also–and i’ve talked about this before–i like giving bruce wayne features that are generally considered less ‘sophisticated’. there’s a certain kind of lean build and delicate features and so on that’s associated with being high class and therefore more intelligent, because… there is probably some kind of essay somewhere about this. whatever, take my word for it. so i like a bruce wayne who’s kind of big and hairy and sweaty and looks like a boxer, because it implies vulgarity and violence in a way that is both traditionally masculine and not anyone’s idea of a power fantasy. he takes care of himself and he’s well-groomed and tidy but he does not look like what you imagine a great detective to look like. he’s got a gentle giant vibe, maybe. he looks like he got paid to carry huge slabs of meat around in the 1930s or something. instead of his batman voice being gruff it’s unearthly quiet despite how well it carries and he exists in a state of unsettling people because of the way that he defies expectations in both obvious and subtle ways.

i think about this old thing by coelasquid a lot in terms of comparative builds, with bruce as more of the endomorph end of the spectrum.

i also like to make this a contrast with clark kent, who is simultaneously taller and manages to look smaller because of his build. he’s got broad shoulders and decent muscles but he’s not bulky (the kind of resistance he would need to actually bulk up is fucking absurd), he’s more like a runner or a swimmer. especially a swimmer tbh, i like the idea of flying giving him a swimmer’s build and i like the idea that the use of his powers uses not only the energy he gets from the sun but also calories. clark kent is a hungry boy and everyone wants to know his workout routine because he eats so many french fries but his hipbones are a crime. it’s flying a lot and sometimes he throws a car. if bruce wayne is a rectangle clark kent is a triangle. not full dorito but he’s triangular enough to annoy everyone and especially lois.

… mostly i find it really fucking funny to imagine bruce wayne being extremely aware that superman and wonder woman are both superhumanly and effortlessly gorgeous and meanwhile under his suit his chest hair is like a goddamn sponge full of sweat and he’s got sweaty cowl hair and his nose is probably bleeding, again, and one of his crowns broke, again, and he’s gotta act like a manly man who’s totally cool with all this even though, like, he’s really good at not being gross, he is well known as a man who is not gross and is in fact capable of being very attractive, there was a magazine article about it one time even, but clark and diana are never here when he pulls off a really cool landing on his toes or he’s pulling off a bold tux, no, they’re here when he’s been getting the shit kicked out of him by robots or something, that’s when they show up with their perfectly tousled hair, thanks, this is great, fantastic, yes i am happy to see you this is just what my face looks like thanks

#god I love him#he’s STRONG not a body builder#he’s only human unlike SOME people#he gets cowl hair and thinks about how unfair that is while staring at clark’s artfully wind-tousled hair#it doesn’t even make sense it’s like the wind is a professional stylist#meanwhile Diana to the side is looking great all the time even when she’s all bloody and sweaty#Bruce soothes his self esteem by remembering she’s a literal goddess#also WOW Bruce’s dentist must make a lot of money#how many implants has he had to replace#the dentist has to be completely exasperated#he’s got a mouth like a hockey player but he’s a billionaire businessman

(via @realityphobia)

bruce’s dentist has figured out exactly what the fuck is going on by now and has been desperately trying to convince him to wear a mouthguard by drawing scary fangs on it and claiming it’s the cool new thing for extreme sports enthusiasts

bruce is pretty sure he knows and the dentist is pretty sure that bruce knows that he knows but neither of them is going to actually say it so his dentist can’t just say “please bruce the mouthguard is scary and bat-like i promise” and bruce can’t just say “i appreciate what you’re trying to do here but batman is not mute” so they’ve just got to dance around the fucking issue while bruce gets yet another front tooth replaced

does bruce try to make the robins wear mouthguards whenever possible because he’s a fucking hypocrite? yes.

by the time bruce is 40 he’s probably going to have to get full replacements and the chances of him getting actual permanent fangs installed because he doesn’t know how to take a joke anywhere but too far are like 85%