autisticauthorgabs:

The bisexual stereotype is true. I am bi and I can’t decide anything. I have never made a decision in my life.

tinysaurus-rex:

thehotgirlproject:

thevelvetpelican:

I would like to adopt another parrot someday, but I think it would be very strange to adopt something older than you.  Parrots can live to be 60+, so I could someday be the guardian of an animal who lived a few decades before I was even born and that’s just weird.

I don’t think I have the authority.  By default, that bird should be my guardian.

I am totally down for my next rescue to be older than me cuz frankly I need the life advice

My friend works at a pet store and while they don’t sell parrots, they do board and occasionally take in rescues and adopt them out. Well one of the birds they were boarding for a month was a 60+ year old scarlet macaw who knew one phrase besides occasionally coughing like an old man. She would say it on cue whenever a customer approached her and an employee told them how old she was. She would stop what she was doing, lean in close, her eyes pinning wildly, in a raspy whisper she would utter, “I was there when it happened.”

taraljc:

chequerootlurks:

ailithnight:

dreaming-shark:

hotcommunist:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

This ma be my most favouritest sentence I’ve read all day:

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem.