so i just started reading the silmarillion and let me tell you, i was not expecting this much drama. the very first chapter is about ilúvatar and the creation of arda and it honestly just reads like a bunch of students arguing over who gets credit for the group project
“fuck off melkor you didn’t even help with the powerpoint”
melkor, honey, no offense but do you wanna maybe…calm down…..just a tad
just so we’re clear, i now fully intend to blame everything that goes even slightly wrong on melkor. train gets cancelled? melkor’s fault. late for class? melkor’s fault. stuck in a rainstorm with no coat on? no one knows where melkor is or what he’s doing, but it’s probably his fault somehow
update: am now halfway through the silmarillion, and everything is still mostly melkor’s fault, but occasionally he lets fëanor have a turn
The most truthful thing regarding the silmarillion I’ve ever read
When a character doesn’t realize they’ve been, like, shot or whatever and they hand brushes against their side and comes away wet with blood, and they’re just staring at it like wtf is this and then their knees just totally give out on them and they sink down, maybe gasping a little as the reality finally hits them. That’s good stuff.
I see that, and raise you a character who knows they’ve been shot, but waits until the rest of their crew is out of sight to put their hand against the slowly spreading stain of blood on their shirt, then trying to steady their breathing so they can follow without letting on how injured they are.
Okay but like the character who doesn’t realize they’ve been hurt trying to see if everyone else is okay only to slowly realize that everyone is looking at them with mounting horror. Then they touch their side to find it’s wet and oh no
Idk man, a widowed father who works full time and lives in his car so he can afford to keep his child fed while he lives with his aunts, who still makes time to see his kid every day, and who is possibly the only family member that child has who has not implicitly or explicitly wished in front of him that his mother had survived instead of him, fostering an intense survivor’s guilt in him where he feels like his loved ones blame him for the death of his mother
I just don’t see how people have ever managed to call Greg Universe a deadbeat, I mean, the one time the dude did a mildly bad thing is when he lied about being hurt so he could spend more time with Steven who he felt was drifting away from him, and even then he copped to it and apologized. His sole concern as a character in the entire show is taking care of and being there for his kid, he’s honestly one of the best dads on TV and I think it’s sad that people act like he’s a shitty father because he’s poor and spends what little available time and money he has on his son who he loves more than anything
Fucking this. Also he’s called a ‘washed up musician’ when he made a choice to abandon what could have been a good career– we see he’s got the chops– on his life as a husband and then father.
He didn’t fail. He succeeded at being what he wanted to be, which was ‘the respected partner of Rose aka an alien war general’ and ‘Steven’s dad’. He still makes music in his spare time and loves it, but his priority #1 (by choice NOT because he isn’t good for anything else) is Steven.
He was Steven’s primary caretaker until he hit the limits of what he could teach (aka gem stuff), and he gave Steven a loving, nurturing life full of physical affection, musical tutoring, family traditions and outings.
I don’t think the gems pay for Steven’s cell phone subscription. I’m pretty damn sure that Greg thought a phone with music storage capacity for his son was a better use of his cash than anything for himself. He’s content living in the van, I think – he strikes me as being pretty zen– but he does have needs.
He always puts those needs second for Steven, except the once, which was such a huge anomaly we got an entire story arc about it.
Reviewers make a lot of how Steven seems to have ‘inherited’ Rose’s kind nature– bull. Bull and shit. Yes to some extent he does have Rose in him, but to ignore how much of his nurturing and forgiving nature he LEARNED from Greg is just lazy.
Greg Universe’s lover laughed in his face when he asked her if she respected him and he stuck around and talked it out like a goddamn adult.
Greg Universe had his home wrecked because he helped the Crystal Gems fight off Lapis and never turned his distress on them.
Greg Universe got pushed off a fucking roof because a badly socialized tech support agent wanted to see if he could fly and immediately forgave her because she didn’t know any better.
Greg has never told his son to ‘man up’ or ‘butch up’ or ‘toughen up’. Greg would have stared blankly if anyone ever suggested that he was ‘babysitting’ his own child. Greg is a huge part of why Steven is who he is and he chose to be there because he never for a second questioned or shirked his responsibility as a father.
Greg Universe for dad. Like, every dad of every animated character who has a shitty or absent father. Shinji from Evangelion? Now Greg’s son. Eren from SNK? Now Greg’s son. Meg from Family Guy? Now Greg’s daughter.
Steven has Rose’s boundless curiosity about and fascination with other people, but his empathy and patience? His desire to not only observe others’ growth in whatever intriguing form it takes, but to nurture? He gets that from Greg.
The best thing you can give your kids is your time. That’s part of why I love Steven Universe, and Greg Universe especially.
IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT GREG UNIVERSE
Damn fucking right we do.
I can see a little how people could jump to the conclusion of Greg being a deadbeat- he’s introduced in a way that, well, kinda looks like it. The episode where he lies to Steven about his leg is an early one. Heck, I initially had my doubts about Greg’s character, because of how he was introduced. We didn’t spend much time with him in the early episodes, so we didn’t learn how caring and compassionate and how legitimately awesome Greg was for quite some time. I can understand how that first impression might make some viewers write him off. First impressions stick with people, especially if they aren’t invested enough in the subject to pay attention and notice changes.
But he got that development, and we learned how amazing Greg is. Greg is awesome and has earned himself a solid place among my favorite characters from SU.
So okay, if early on you think Greg’s a bit of a deadbeat dad, I get it, I do.
But if you get caught up on the series and still think he’s a deadbeat, then I will fight you.
I’m sure someone’s already transcribed this, but just in case they haven’t:
GRIFFIN: “…ah, but this Yahoo was sent in by, ah,
Amelie Belcher! Thanks, Amelie. It’s by Yahoo Answers user— JUSTIN: (weird falsetto with undetermined accent)
“Amelie?” [A beat of silence.] GRIFFIN: “What was that?
What wa—” JUSTIN: “It’s my impression of Amelie from the film—”
GRIFFIN: “From the
movie, ‘Amelie’?” JUSTIN: (weird falsetto with accent) “Amelie!” [Another beat.] GRIFFIN: “’Cause she just walks around—” TRAVIS: “That’s not an impression, you just—” GRIFFIN: “It’s about a young girl—” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Allo! I am Amelie!” GRIFFIN: (laughing) “—who… can only say her own
name.” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I cook an egg with a spoon!” [Griffin is still laughing.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Amelie!” TRAVIS: (quietly) “Jesus.” GRIFFIN: (in hysterics) “She cook an egg with a spoon?” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Fall in love again with me, Amelie!
Now on DVD!” TRAVIS: “This week on Moneyzone: Amelie.” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “You missed the f—you missed out new
relationships but maybe fall in love with me Amelie!” (I think? “Amelie”’s mystical
accent is difficult to parse. It’s like French-Finnish-Swedish or something.) “Don’t look for me on BluRay, I’m not on
BluRay yet! I’m on DVD!” [Griffin coughs, and then continues laughing. As “Amelie” goes on, you can hear Griffin laughing harder and harder.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I’m too small to fit on the BluRay,
they lose me… I am Amelie! I’m hiding near the spindle… I am Amelie! JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “This laser
disc is gigantic. I am on the edge of it. Hellooo!” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “It is like a plate for my
egg dinner. Delicious! I am Amelie!” [Griffin is now crying laughing.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I am inside your pocket. You have
enough money to buy my DVD!” GRIFFIN: (weeping) “You
have to stop or it’ll be the whole show!” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I miss VHS tapes because I would
get in the little holes and spin around. Like teacups at Disney—” TRAVIS: “Is she a Borrower?! What’s going on?!” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Yes I live in a hole with a mice king!”
[Travis is now also laughing, while Griffin continues to
unravel.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I’m married to the mice king. My
staff is a lollipop. Amelie!” [Another beat. I suspect Griffin edited out a long stretch
of him pleading for sweet release.] GRIFFIN: (catching his breath) “Okay.” TRAVIS: “Oh, jesus.” GRIFFIN: (sniffling and weak) “Thank you. Ugh. Christ.
Gimme a second. All right.”
End transcription. It is important that you know that occasionally, to this day, if the name Amelie is mentioned, Justin’s “Amelie” will very quietly say her own name.
I LIVE IN PARIS AND EVERY TIME I GO TO MONTMARTRE I THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.
I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.
I have reblogged this a dozen times and I will reblog it a dozen more.
This needs reblogging. I’ve read this before, but it’s still priceless.
I don’t reblog this amazing piece of human cooperation, assume I’m dead
Hey all you lovely people who have periods, the world is starting to look a little bit brighter now that certain tampon/pad companies have started to allow people to receive small kits and samples of pads, maxi pads, liner, and tampons for free. And I mean 100% free and discreet. You just have to give them your address and name, and bam! You’ve got all the menstrual cycle products you could ever need for no cost. Links below!
A Needle Runs Through It– Laser cut stitch markers, handy guides, project bag holders, and cross stitch accessories. Includes some “sassy” markers with copious amounts of swear words. Great for fandom lovers.
Knitifacts – Wonderful decorative artwork for the yarn enthusiast. Also makes basic stitch markers in every color and size. At the fair, I purchased fiber from her but I don’t see any on her online shop.
The Homestead Hobbyist – Lots of cool fiber or unique blends. Some dyed, some natural. Also had resin/carbon fiber spindles, and laser cut fiber accessories. One of the few male spinners I met there.
Psych Ward Yarns– Wonderful brightly colored yarns in different sizes. Felt like most shops only brought fingering weight.
Jimmy Beans Wool – This is a large online shop. They do that fiber advent calendar that’s super cool. They also sell an interchangeable knitting set that has inch markers on the needles. At the show, however, they were only selling their Namaste line of travel bags. Super cool. I wanted one if money wasn’t a factor. They had one that was designed to fit right under airplane seats. Loved it!
Color Notes Yarn – They had an amazing booth. Cute little fruit baskets filled with color matching yarn. Top notch atheistic. Great if you’re in search for solid color yarn
Old returning favorites from years past
Greenwood Fiberworks – fiber and yarn. Specializes in yak and buffalo mixed fiber. Nice Earthy colorways.
Chicken Boots – WIP accessories. Great for Fandom Lovers. Has simple, but innovative DPNs project holders that are reasonably priced and you should totally buy some. Also has my favorite circular needle holder which is an accordion style pocket purse. Everything handmade and well crafted
Wonderland Dyeworks – Fiber only. I usually always buy from them. I love their charming colorways. They package colors together to make complimentary yarns for any 2-4 tone project.
Trif’s Turnings – Hand carved and lathed yarn accessories. Lazy kates, niddy noddys, spindles of every type, and cake un-winders
Clemes & Clemes – N California Favorite! Fiber prep tools and accessories. Specializes in drum carders. Was kind of disappointed in their booth this year. I know they’ve been doing other festivals and I wonder if their stock was just low. For being a double sized booth they didn’t have much compared to years past. Top notch products though!
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