The realization that somewhere, in-universe, there’s some audio tech who had t design Darth Vader’s voice.
I mean- Palpatine oversaw all the aspects of Vader’s suit development, right? Which naturally includes his voice since Vader’s vocal cords got pretty darn crisped.
So some audio tech not only had to design the new voice for Darth Vader, the Emperor’s terrifying new right hand and enforcer, but probably had to go to planning meetings with and get feedback from Palpatine.
Palpatine: No. Up the bass. I want his voice to rumble through you like a thunderstorm on Kamino.
Palpatine: Also give him just a bit of a Coruscanti accent. He’s gotta sound cultured and intimidating.
Palpatine: And up all the input. Darth Vader must not sound like he’s mumbling.
Palpatine: And put a shield on the microphone. We can’t have him popping all his plosives, that’s just going to drive me crazy.
Update: I have been informed by @diaryofawriter that our hapless Audio Technician’s name is Chad, and he’s a little bit crazy.
Boss: “WTF are you doing, chad?” Chad: “Designing Darth Vader’s voice.” Boss: “WHY IS THAT BREATHING PLAYING ON A LOOP?!?” Chad: “freaky, yeah?” Boss: *did not sign up for this* “YOU’RE A PSYCHO, CHAD”
Chad just goes to town on this project. If the Emperor wants Vader’s voice to be extra, might as well make it EXTRA.
He adds in subharmonics so that just the sound of Vader breathing makes people uneasy. And that feeling gets worse when he actually talks. Do something with the audio encoding so it sounds like Vader’s voice is coming from all around you. He’s standing right in front of you, but you also can’t shake the feeling that he’s right behind you and breathing down your neck. When in doubt, ADD MORE BASS.
If he could give Vader’s voice a cape he would, but he settles for a little reverb.
The thing about the breathing, tho? If it’s real, he talks through inhales and exhales with no change in tone whatsoever.
Have you ever tried to talk on an inhale? Shit’s fucked up. Even with Star Wars level cybermedical technology, it seems implausible to me that they managed to make that happen. Yet his voice is completely independent of his breathing, to the point where he switches from exhale to inhale in the middle of a word and it’s not noticeable in the final effect.
So how is this happening?
What if they separated his breathing functions into two sections: one of which is the standard, measured inhale-exhale, piped in from the mask directly to the lungs, while the other is a constant slow stream of exhalation through the windpipe, fed by the air pressure the lungs are kept under, so that he can just keep talking while most of his lungs are refilling.
The iconic McElroy Double “Unless.” I can hear them perfectly.
I noticed a couple people in the tags saying the Double Unless is a Hamilton reference, which means there are people out there who don’t realize that Hamilton was actually referencing the McElroys, not the other way around. Lin said so himself.
So anyway, I just wanted to share the good, good news.
I think we, as a general community, need to start taking this little moment more seriously.
This, right here? This is asking for consent. It’s a legal necessity, yes, but it is also you, the reader, actively consenting to see adult content; and in doing so, saying that you are of an age to see it, and that you’re emotionally capable of handling it.
You find the content you find behind this warning disgusting, horrifying, upsetting, triggering? You consented. You said you could handle it, and you were able to back out at any time. You take responsibility for yourself when you click through this, and so long as the creator used warnings and tags correctly, you bear full responsibility for its impact on you.
“Children are going to lie about their age” is probably true, but that’s the problem of them and the people who are responsible for them, not the people that they lie to.
If you’re not prepared to see adult content, created by and for adults, don’t fucking click through this. And if you do, for all that’s holy, don’t blame anyone else for it.
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