The realization that somewhere, in-universe, there’s some audio tech who had t design Darth Vader’s voice.
I mean- Palpatine oversaw all the aspects of Vader’s suit development, right? Which naturally includes his voice since Vader’s vocal cords got pretty darn crisped.
So some audio tech not only had to design the new voice for Darth Vader, the Emperor’s terrifying new right hand and enforcer, but probably had to go to planning meetings with and get feedback from Palpatine.
Palpatine: No. Up the bass. I want his voice to rumble through you like a thunderstorm on Kamino.
Palpatine: Also give him just a bit of a Coruscanti accent. He’s gotta sound cultured and intimidating.
Palpatine: And up all the input. Darth Vader must not sound like he’s mumbling.
Palpatine: And put a shield on the microphone. We can’t have him popping all his plosives, that’s just going to drive me crazy.
Update: I have been informed by @diaryofawriter that our hapless Audio Technician’s name is Chad, and he’s a little bit crazy.
Boss: “WTF are you doing, chad?” Chad: “Designing Darth Vader’s voice.” Boss: “WHY IS THAT BREATHING PLAYING ON A LOOP?!?” Chad: “freaky, yeah?” Boss: *did not sign up for this* “YOU’RE A PSYCHO, CHAD”
Chad just goes to town on this project. If the Emperor wants Vader’s voice to be extra, might as well make it EXTRA.
He adds in subharmonics so that just the sound of Vader breathing makes people uneasy. And that feeling gets worse when he actually talks. Do something with the audio encoding so it sounds like Vader’s voice is coming from all around you. He’s standing right in front of you, but you also can’t shake the feeling that he’s right behind you and breathing down your neck. When in doubt, ADD MORE BASS.
If he could give Vader’s voice a cape he would, but he settles for a little reverb.
The thing about the breathing, tho? If it’s real, he talks through inhales and exhales with no change in tone whatsoever.
Have you ever tried to talk on an inhale? Shit’s fucked up. Even with Star Wars level cybermedical technology, it seems implausible to me that they managed to make that happen. Yet his voice is completely independent of his breathing, to the point where he switches from exhale to inhale in the middle of a word and it’s not noticeable in the final effect.
So how is this happening?
What if they separated his breathing functions into two sections: one of which is the standard, measured inhale-exhale, piped in from the mask directly to the lungs, while the other is a constant slow stream of exhalation through the windpipe, fed by the air pressure the lungs are kept under, so that he can just keep talking while most of his lungs are refilling.
Basically what I’m saying is
Vader’s a bagpipe.
I like to think Palpatine listened to Vader’s new voice when Chad was ready to try it out, and the ol’ Emperor was more than ready to adjust the mix every which way if he wasn’t happy, but after thirty seconds of hearing Vader talk, Palpatine turns to Chad and just shakes his hand with genuine warmth (He probably had to stop himself saying “Duuuuude!”)
Because he may be an effed-up, absolute evil son of a bantha, but Palpatine recognises and respects genuine craftsmanship when he hears it.
Chad was one of the few people to get personally signed Lifeday cards from Palpatine from that year on.
While destashing, I’ve come across three unused skeins of yarn that, while very nice, I don’t see myself ever using.
So, I’ve decided to do a giveaway for my followers here and on Instagram.
Like and/or reblog this post (each like and reblog = one entry) and one winner will receive the above*** (two skeins of Madelinetosh Merino Light [colorway “wellwater”] and one skein of Shepherd’s Wool [colorway “Garnet”]).
I’ll pick one winner from all tumblr and IG entries on December 10 at 5pm EST. Good luck!
****(not included: orange kitteh in the background).
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom
It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve and Scrooge was conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.
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