had a very visceral urge to see savage opress meet and Aggressively Big Brother™ the hell out of boba fett earlier today
god but like. can you imagine maul’s face tho. savage fucks off for like half an hour and comes back dragging this feral little mando kid who’s cussing up a storm and keeps trying to stab him. just his expression alone.
“Brother What Is This, Where Did You Even Get It, Go Put It Back, It’s Probably Not Even Vaccinated, It’s Probably Got Rabies” by darth maul
Except, then twenty-five minutes later, Maul’s already planning on giving the kid his first vibroblade, and has started planning out the most effective, fun-filled way to teach Boba how to Kill Jedi.
“Trace the origins back a little further and it becomes even more disturbing. The World Health Organization report that helped to establish a BMI of 25 as the cutoff for overweight was predominantly drafted by the International Obesity Task Force (IOTF). On the surface, IOTF appears to be a scientific organization. However, probe a little and you find that IOTF received much of it funding from Hoffman-La Roche (makers of the weight-loss drug Xenical) and Abbott Laboratories (makers of the weight-loss drug Meridia). Their primary mission is to lobby governments and advance an agenda that is consistent with the platform of the pharmaceutical industry. Indeed, many outsiders describe them as no more than a front group for the pharmaceutical industry.
In other words, private industry is writing public health policy.”
– L. Bacon, Health at Every Size
So the Air Force is hiring an archaeologist to travel by aircraft or “other designated means”…
WHERE DO I APPLY!!
can u believe some people can see a cat & not immediately be filled with absolute unconditional love for that animal. they dont even get the urge to kiss them right on their little baby cat head. thats incomprehensible to me
Goodnight, But Not Goodbye
Here’s the whump fic I talked about in my ask meme, as promised 🙂 Just to eliminate any confusion, in this story italics are used for thoughts and emphasis. Bold face is … special 😉
Fandom: Star Wars
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Angst
Timeline: TPM, just after Qui-Gon’s funeral but before the celebration in Naboo
Summary/Background: The Jedi have returned to the Temple for a brief respite following Qui-Gon’s funeral. Obi-Wan struggles to come to terms with his Master’s death and his new appointment as Anakin’s guardian and teacher.
——————
There was a Before it happened, a During, and an After.
Before it happened—just before it happened—Obi-Wan felt the Force turn cold. He ran as fast as he could, damn whatever walls were in his way, laser or not.
And then, During, there was a flash of pain, and he swore he could feel the lightsaber pierce his Master’s skin. The Force screamed with him as he cried out.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
And after fighting for his Master’s life, after Qui-Gon took his last breath, he shed a few tears, but remained somewhat composed. He had to. He couldn’t let these emotions claim him. There were still pieces to pick up.
But After …
After the funeral, after evening meal, after everyone was in bed and he was too …
He wept.
He wept in grief for the loss of the man who was like a father to him.
He wept in anger for the fact that his death had happened at all.
He wept in hate for the monster that had killed him.
And he wept in fear, because even though he was already an adult, he felt like a frightened child in the face of his new challenge: to take on Anakin Skywalker as his student, to practically raise him as his own son. He was not ready to be a mentor, to be a father, and yet he had to be, because he couldn’t break his promise, and if Anakin was the Chosen One as Qui-Gon had said, he couldn’t afford to do anything less than his best to train him.
But it still hurt. It felt like the lightsaber that had sliced through Qui-Gon’s stomach was still ignited, still active, slicing his heart in that moment.
Exhausted. Weak. Terrified. Lost.
“Master?”
Obi-Wan heard the voice but didn’t respond. He was positive, truly positive, that what he just heard was the voice of a youngling down the hall who was looking for his own Master. A different person.
“Master Obi-Wan?”
But that positivity faded the instant the being—Anakin—said his name.
Hastily wiping his tears away, Obi-Wan strode to the door bridging his room with Anakin’s and pressed the button to activate it.
The young boy on the other side looked less like his ten years and more like five with the way he clasped his hands in front of his body and fought to keep his lip from quivering. His clothes, the white standard-issue pajamas that everyone wore in the Temple, were a bit baggy as well, making him seem smaller than he really was. Obi-Wan abruptly noticed that the rims of the boy’s eyes were red—and he knew Anakin could probably see the same thing on his face as well.
He sighed, cleared his throat, and stooped down to meet the boy’s eyes. “Yes, Anakin?”
“I … um … I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I heard you crying while I was in the ‘fresher.”
Obi-Wan fought to keep his face neutral. The ‘fresher was on Anakin’s side of the dorm, but still close enough to be reached quickly if needed, and Obi-Wan had made sure to keep as quiet as he could so he wouldn’t draw attention to himself.
Hm. The Chosen One, indeed—Anakin must have sensed his pain, even though their bond was fairly new and fragile.
The boy was watching him carefully, waiting patiently for his answer, and Obi-Wan knew there was no point in lying. “Yes, um. I suppose I am feeling a little sad. But it’s nothing you need to w—”
“Do you miss Master Qui-Gon?” Anakin interrupted.
Obi-Wan startled. The kid was good. Instead of answering, he decided to turn the question back to him. “Do you? It seems you’ve been crying as well.”
“Well, um. Yeah. I know I’m not supposed to, but—“
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the Council didn’t want me to be trained because they know I miss my mom, so I guess they would probably say I shouldn’t miss Master Qui-Gon, either. But I can’t help it—“ Anakin’s voice wavered a bit. “—because Master Qui-Gon was my friend, and he was your friend, and—and I don’t like knowing people are sad and not being able to do anything about it. And—and—”
Finally Anakin’s face crumpled and reddened, and a few tears slid down his cheeks. “I thought maybe, if I stayed behind to help, instead of flying off, I could have done something, you know? Because I’m the Chosen One. I’m sorry.” The tears fell freely now, and without warning he moved forward and wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan’s neck.
Obi-Wan was floored, to say the least. His mouth dropped open—he wanted to say something—anything—but no words would come out. He had no idea Anakin felt so strongly about what happened, since they exchanged few words during the cremation ceremony. In fact, even earlier, when Anakin was told that Qui-Gon had been killed, the boy remained silent. But to know that Anakin had such empathy and compassion—for him—and to know that he blamed himself … this was too much.
The newly-promoted Knight tentatively accepted Anakin’s hug, patting him awkwardly on the back as he cried. He wasn’t used to comforting people, much less comforting a youngling, and he certainly wasn’t used to people comforting him. He felt helpless.
But at the same time, he had to admit, thanks to Anakin’s confession, he didn’t feel quite so lonely in his grief anymore.
Obi-Wan took hold of Anakin’s shoulders and gently pushed him back, looking straight at him. “First of all, Anakin, this was an accident. It wasn’t your fault.” He almost added, It was mine, but he stopped. “You had your job, and you did it well. I’m sure Master Qui-Gon would have been proud of you. Do you understand?”
Anakin nodded, choking back sobs.
“Now. It’s okay to hurt, Anakin. I know this is all very new for you. It is for me, too.” He paused. “I do miss Master Qui-Gon, very much. But he’s one with the Force now, and I … “ He steeled his voice, making sure it wouldn’t crack. “I must learn to accept that. And I will, in time. So will you.“
“It’s still n-not fair,” Anakin sniffled.
“No, it’s not,” the older man conceded. “But things will be clearer in time,” he said, more to convince himself than to convince Anakin. “And it won’t hurt so much then.” Then he stood, keeping one hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “We have to be strong and work through times like these without losing our way. And as Master and student we must work through them together.”
Anakin considered his words and nodded. “Like a team?”
Obi-Wan had to chuckle at that. “Yes, like a team.”
A genuine smile spread across Anakin’s face. “That’s good. I bet we’ll be the best team ever.”
For the first time that night—in several days, even—Obi-Wan smiled. Something told him that Anakin was not wrong in his assessment.
“I suppose we will, my young apprentice.” Taking a deep breath, he led Anakin back into their common area. “Now then, I’ll, um … I’ll make us some tea to replenish our fluids after all that crying. You go on back to bed and I’ll bring yours to you, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you, Master.” Anakin gave a short bow and raced back to his bed.
————
Obi-Wan was halfway through making the tea when his chest felt like it was buzzing, and the room felt a few degrees warmer. Before he could process this, he suddenly heard a familiar voice—
“I’ve found that sometimes, a cup of hot tea and some good rest are better than meditation at replenishing the mind and body after a grueling challenge. You must take care of yourself or you will not be able to take care of others. Drink, Padawan.”
“Master?!” he breathed, looking frantically around the small dwelling for his Master’s presence. But nothing had changed.
Oh, he thought once he finally calmed down. It was a memory. But why that one?
And then it hit him as he placed a tea bag into Anakin’s mug and watched it steep:
This is what he used to do for me, and now I’m doing the same thing for Anakin. He shook his head. I guess more of him rubbed off on me than I thought.
With a resigned sigh he placed their drinks onto a tray and walked out of the kitchenette.
“Anakin?” He called when he arrived at his Padawan’s room. “I have your tea here. May I come in?”
The boy didn’t answer.
“Anakin?” Obi-Wan carefully pressed the button, and the door slid open to reveal the young boy sprawled out on his bed, sleeping.
He couldn’t wait just a few minutes? He must be thoroughly worn out, the man thought as he set aside the teas and pulled Anakin’s blanket up to cover him, letting his hand and his eyes linger on the boy for a moment.
“Goodnight, Padawan,” Obi-Wan whispered.
He took the teas back to the kitchenette, stored them, and climbed back into bed. Drawing a deep breath, he turned to look out his small viewport to the skies of Coruscant.
He wasn’t sure what good saying this would do—it felt entirely too sentimental and a bit superstitious—but it also felt right in the moment:
“And … goodnight, Qui-Gon.”
He felt it again as he fell asleep—that warm buzzing in his chest and around his body—and then, just as clearly as if Qui-Gon was in the room, still alive, talking to him:
“Goodnight, Obi-Wan.”
Give @squagel some love for writing such a lovely fic! I live for obi-wan and Anakin learning to care for each other 😭 they are so cute in this! way to remind me of TPM feels, I’ll just go cry now
Real name? I once had a real name, so long ago… I don’t remember it.
That still kills me, because when Darth Vader chose to walk away from the Sith, he became Anakin Skywalker once more. “Vader” was the name of Sith Lord, a man who killed children, a man so distinct from Anakin that Obi-Wan blamed Vader for Anakin’s death.
But Maul is always Maul. He can discard the title “Darth” but the name Maul is all he’s ever known, all he’s ever been.
Even when Talzin remade his body and pulled his mind from the depths of darkness, he was still Maul. She could have given him any name, perhaps even the name she gave him in the womb, in his first yowling moments of infancy, but no, instead she christens him Maul, reborn Son of Dathomir. Perhaps she did it to spite Sidious, to reclaim the creature Maul in the name of Dathomir, and there’s a sort of poignancy to that, a certain strength that comes from taking back what was stolen, but still, it strikes me as incredibly sad that even in his second life, Maul is Maul, a weapon, an implement, a tool of vengeance.
And it’s even sadder that when Maul casts aside the ways of the Sith, there’s no piece of his old life for him to reclaim. His people are gone, his planet ruined, his family, slain. He can’t stop being Maul the way Anakin could stop being Vader; and there’s no one to lift him out of the darkness and remind him of who he once was.
I suppose what strikes me most of all, what has always struck me about Maul, is that he didn’t have a choice in becoming Sith, not like Vader or Tyranus; those were names given to fallen Jedi, but Maul was born to be Sith, not just once but twice.
I want to believe that he can choose to walk away from it. I want to believe that even though he will always be Maul, he can choose to define that name for himself. I want to believe that even someone who has always known darkness can choose to turn towards the light.
i know tumblr likes violent man eating mermaids but i fuck p heavy with pretty playful pretty scaled mermaids in warm sorts of waters keeping the tide gentle when lil toddlers are learning to swim and kissing the breath into good sailors because they have someone waiting on a cliff by the sea for them to come home and cutting seals and turtles out of netting and plastic bags
but maybe being from hawaii just made me think of the ocean of a safe cradley sort of place i know its scary i know it’ll kick your ass but sometimes its ten types of turquoise and and sometimes sea foam sticks to your eyelashes sometimes the sun hits your face even when you’re twenty feet under and i have a hard time forgetting its first and foremost a womb
so mermaids who watch the triple crown and scare sharks away from the surfers
OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time!
Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean.
The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.
It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.
The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.
weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors
my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog
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