When my parrot wants pets off someone he’ll go up to them, say hello, and lower his head to expose his neck. Recently, however, he’s been doing this to a pitch black crevice behind the couch, even trying to cajole the darkness with kissy noises and getting sad when the void won’t pet him. How do I explain that dark chasms are not friends?
Level 1: Getting mad at a fanfic for misrepresenting your favourite character’s canon personality and motivations.
Level 2: Getting mad at a fanfic for declining to subscribe to a particular interpretation of your favourite character’s personality and motivations that isn’t explicitly present in canon, but is a totally obvious extrapolation.
Level 3: Getting mad at a fanfic because the author’s headcanons about your favourite character contradict your own, clearly superior headcanons.
Level 4: Getting mad at a fanfic because its wildly divergent AU version of your favourite character differs from the fully realised notion of what that character ought to look like in this AU that you spontaneously developed in the 300-word span between the introduction of the AU’s premise and their first appearance.
Level 5: Getting mad at a fanfic for getting your favourite character so incredibly wrong, before remembering that the character in question has no discernible personality or motivations in canon and everything the ‘fic got “wrong” is just stuff you made up in your head to fill the howling void.
Anchorage Resident Tim Newton Awoke To The Sound Of Something Running Across His Deck
“Tim was awakened by noises on our deck last week – and looked outside. In astonishment, he grabbed his camera.. and can you believe it? Mama Lynx and her SEVEN kits!! She called to them and they all lined up right outside in front of where he was standing (he was inside the screen door!) Amazing ALASKA WILD LIFE!!! They proceeded to run and play on our deck, and then in our yard.”
im honestly gonna get it. you had me at “made a homophobe so angry”
This actually happened! I’ve always felt that if you buy a book where the stated summary is “two princesses attempt to fight dragons and get married” you don’t really have a right to be mad when the book turns out to be about two princesses attempting to fight dragons and get married but what the hell do I know.
To be fair, maybe the reader expected the princesses to marry the dragons?
Please tell me there’s a sequel where that happens.
BUT ONLY IF THE DRAGONS ARE ALSO LADIES.
Actually, the main complaint was that it was “historically inaccurate” for two princesses to be allowed to get married. Which was weird to me, since this story is not set on earth and I’m pretty sure it is historically accurate for gay couples to be allowed to get married on this super convenient wish-fulfillment fantasy world that I concocted after logging 300 hours in Skyrim.
Curiously enough, she didn’t complain about the dragons being inaccurate.
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