I have been searching all over the world for you. You’re going to be a force for good and a very important sorcerer. But for now, you’re my apprentice.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010)
*walks around my house looking for scissors while making a scissor motion with my fingers*
W a i t f o r i t.
“If Hamilton’s response to loss is to go as fast as he can, Burr’s response to loss is, ‘I’m not going to do anything until I know it’s the right move. I’m alive. Other people I love are dead. There’s a reason for that.’” – Lin-Manuel Miranda
So, when I was doing my thesis on whether or not fanfiction should be considered a legitimate genre of literature, my advising professor asked me for examples. I gave him the generic ones, of course – “Pride & Prejudice and Zombies” is a horror fanfic of “Pride & Prejudice”, “50 Shades of Grey” is an erotica fic of “Twilight" – and that seemed to make him understand what fanfiction is, but not how it’s useful. So I thought about it, and, after about a minute, I said, “Paradise Lost is basically a fanfiction of the Book of Genesis. And The Divine Comedy is an epic self-insertion fic for Catholic doctrine. So, basically, you were teaching us fanfiction last semester.” I had never before seen a grown man’s eyes widen with such fear, incomprehension, disgust, awe, and understanding.
#does that mean the renaissance was almost entirely fan art?
Yes. Yes it does. All ur classic favs had the Renaissance version of DeviantArt.
Pretty much every “miracle play” of the middle ages is new testament fanfic.
Heck, The opera Parsifal is King Arthur fanfic. Tristan und Isolde is King Arthur fanfic! The entire Ring Cycle is Germanic myth fantic!!!
Mercedes Lackey has ruined me for fairytales.
Look very carefully at that wording before you think this is a slam on the author. It couldn’t be further from one! I ADORE Ms. Lackey’s work and would be singing her praises constantly if I didn’t have a voice that could peel paint.
Today I was re-reading one of her books (as I very often do) and suddenly I was hit with a realisation.
The book I had chosen was one of her Elemental Masters series, which are fairy tales retold in, in most cases, England just before and during the first World War. The magic users as a rule are magicians of one of the four elements as the Greek world saw them, Earth, Fire, Air and Water, and are aided by creatures of those elements. (The most common of them being the gnomes, salamanders, sylphs, and undines, respectively) There are also the gifted and talented, mediums and empaths and such, who have abilities which are not linked to the elements and are regarded as lesser.
That out of the way, let me get into what I realised, and why it hit me so hard.
I was reading Phoenix and Ashes, which is the Cinderella tale, partly because I thought it might be responsible for my utter distaste for Once Upon A Time’s version of Ella. And it is. I’ll get into that further in a bit when I go into the specifics, but the general revelation I had was this:
These girls fight to save themselves. Their princes are often just as broken as they are. And while they do use magic to ultimately end the threats their opponents cause, it is their own magic they use. It isn’t the fairies who provide a magic sword and shield to fight through the cursed sleep, it isn’t a fairy godmother that allows her to attend the ball but her own willpower, and when the apple-seller poisons the woman, in her coma her soul still fights. Conversely, Puss-in-Boots is saved by a ballerina with a pistol, the Beast was transformed when his hubris led him to attempt magic outside his element without proper research, and the young man who cast aside his friends when his heart was frozen was blinded by the power of the stark cold.
The heroines are doctors, scholars, suffragists and artists. The heroes are retired sea-captains, pilots, rail barons, more doctors, theatre owners, spies-in-fops-clothing. The fairy godmothers are village midwives. The villains are scorned aunts jealous of their siblings success, society parasites, rival magicians, grieving husbands driven mad in their obsession over long-dead wives, all of whom (with one exception in the most recent of the series) turn their magic to dark purposes.
They don’t just sit back. No one does.
Now, on to the specific. Eleanor Robinson. It was this bit that did it, when Eleanor first makes contact with the salamanders after the village midwife helped her see how she could fight the spells her stepmother placed on her, binding her to the house and hearth. More than just tricking them into letting her sit and stare at the fire instead of scrubbing the floor, that she could actually for a time escape her prison and walk the town, if her will was strong enough to slip the bonds.
“Why didn’t I ever see you before?” she wondered aloud.
She was shocked to her bones when the one in the middle raised its head, looked straight at her, and answered her.
Because She was there, and you had not fought her power. Just a touch of scorn came into the creature’s tone. Why should we show ourselves to one who would not fight for her own freedom?
It was a good question. “But I thought that I had—” she replied, slowly.
All three of them shook their heads negatively. Hating someone is not fighting them, the middle one pointed out. You pushed, but pushing is not fighting, and you gave up too soon. Yesterday, you fought. That was good. If you fight, we will help.
Her allies are there to aid her, but not unless she does something for herself first. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what Once’s Ella distinctly lacked. Where Eleanor Robinson is bound by a black magic spell using her own severed finger preventing her from leaving her home, preventing anyone from remembering her, making her a slave to the compulsions placed on her to cook and clean, when she realises that the magic isn’t all powerful, she took her chance, and worked to make her life better.
And dear gods, that is why I admire these works so much. Because every one of them shows initiative from the protagonists as well as the antagonists, from everyone involved. No one just sits back and wishes, they do something. Even if in one case, doing something means deciding that since the ballet has kicked her out, she’ll go to every dance hall in Paris, and when that fails, rather than starve, she will become the lowest of the low, and live. These men and women fight for themselves, and if a kiss of love returns a soul to a body, if a child’s pure innocent love melts a frozen heart, then that too is magic. And when wicked stepmothers or evil aunts are defeated, when the beast who wore a man’s face is destroyed by the man with the face of a beast aided by the maiden who saw beneath both, when the father’s foul plans for his daughter are put to rest along with his soul, that too is a happy ending. Not forever after, because the world will always have new troubles to face, but for now.
So, in short, thank gods for Ms. Lackey’s tales. It’s only a pity it’s rather spoiled me for any other version.
Wow….Thank you.
You deserve every word, ma’am. (Meeting you at DragonCon ‘13 is still one of the highlights of my life.)
Another author who Ruins Traditional Fairy Tales Forever is Ursula Vernon, under her for-adults pen name, @tkingfisher Like seriously. Read all of her books too. Most of them are still ebook only, but don’t take that as an indicator of lack of quality. This is the woman behind Digger and Summer in Orcus, who created Dragon Breath and the Hamster Princess. Her stuff for adults is just as awesome. :3
I adore Ursula as a person, I met her at the last GenCon we went to.
I’m also a NY Times #1 bestseller list Author for Youth E-books so be a bit hypocritical to say anything.
If I ever have to sing in a campaign where I play a bard, the DM requires that I sing. Sometimes I make up something on the spot, other times I use a song that’s just on my mind.
Me: I start a fascinating performance, the song sounds like John Cage’s 4’33".
DM: Okay, sing.
Me: (silence)
DM: Dude, go or skip your turn.
Druid, who is a music nerd as much as I am: He is, 4’33" is four minutes 33 seconds of silence.
DM: So you’re just standing there with a lute in hand having a staring contest with an Orc.
Me: Yea.
Druid: Orcs are pretty dumb.
DM: I’m letting this one slide.this is everything I ever wanted in a post
I love this post!
That sounds like something as smart-assed as I would do.
K but in all honesty Tumblr sleeps on Ladyhawke so much
A) It was made in the 80s so every now and then (like in the beginning of the fucking movie) there’s really inappropriate synth/electric guitar music and slo mo shots and lens flares and it’s fucking delightful
B) It’s about a knight and a lady who fell in love but a creepy ass priest (of course) wanted her so I forget how he pulled it off but now she is a hawk by day and a lady by night (TITLE BUT WITH AN “E” ADDED IN THE END FOR NO REASON) and he’s a man by day and a wolf by night and they only see each other in their human forms for half a second when the sun is rising (or setting I guess) and it’s The Most Tragic Love Story Of Our Time
C) She’s stunning but not completely incompetent; he’s broody and badass and did I mention he turns into what amounts to a giant dog it’s like your boyfriend turns into Ghost what’s not to like
D) Yes Matthew Broderick is there and yes he doesn’t really fit the vibe but mostly he’s there to be you. He’s there to be like “omg what a tragic love story I must help the otp” he’s there to be like “wow Michelle Pfeiffer’s face was carved by the gods and also she turns into a bird of prey how amazing” and he’s kind of a flop but you tolerate him, it’s the 80s, Ferris can stay
E) I forget exactly how the plot is resolved but let me assure you that it is as over the top and ridiculous as you’d expect, full of ominous church things
Watch it. Live it. LADYHAWKE.
Favourite 80s Fantasy films 1/?: Ladyhawke {1985}
“Do you know that hawks and wolves mate for life? The Bishop didn’t even leave us that… not even that.”
remember that time cody and two of his bros piled up on general grievous
The correct term is “vodpile”

























