Of course, the real way to tell whether you’re in a Hard SF novel is if people keep providing you with unsolicited explanations of basic physics and everyday technology which you should, by rights, already know.
So every single woman is in a Hard SF novel is what you’re telling me
…You know, it’s occurred to me that this would actually be a very good way to do exposition in hard SF novels without needing anyone to break character.
#‘but of course teleportation technology based on quantum displacement is common now–’#‘I KNOW’#’–ever since they replaced the old SK-400s with the newly-discovered Mega Dilithium cores–“#‘I FUCKING KNOW THIS ALREADY MARK’
oh my god, sexist dudes aren’t mansplaining, they’re providing helpful exposition to your audience
“MARK. I INVENTED THE TECH BEHIND THE SK-400. MARK!”
Considering that in AD&D you can get eaten by statues, armor, furniture, walls, floors, ceilings, bridges, stalactites, stalagmites, rocks, water, mushrooms, sand, flowers, tumbleweed, trees, treestumps, coins, and swords, the guy who insisted on attacking the gazeebo might actually have been the only sane person in the room.
Confession: every year I get super bummed out no one thought I was good enough to nominate for d/hr advent
I don’t know what that is, but speaking as someone who used to be like, ultra involved in fanfic-related fandom activities, it’s almost certainly less “good enough” and more “not friends with the right six people.”
I mean yes that’s LOGICAL, but since when are lizard brains logic based?
Oh, fully. I’m still bitter, if I poke my brain into looking-back mode, about the reception of my Very Good “Once More With Feeling” HP parody vs. the one written by a BNF whose songs didn’t even scan to the original lyrics.
Every time a fic rec list goes by I torture myself by reading through it to see if anyone’s recommending my stuff. The answer is always “no” unless the list was started by a close friend.
They are saying with a straight face:
This. Woman. Is. Not. Attractive.
Like, I’m not even a lesbian, but come the fuck on.
a freshman year enlightenment of mine
I go to an all girls school
A list of what else to expect at a girl’s school:
- girls changing wherever because being ladylike isn’t a thing when everyone’s a lady
- girls who literally couldn’t give less of a shit about their appearance
- freshmen who care too much about their appearance (watch them turn into seniors who stopped giving a shit)
- uniform violations for the silliest things—colored shirt under your uniform instead of a white one, wrong shoes, patterned head band, wrong color socks
- seniors with skirts SO FUCKING SHORT not because of some tired stereotype but because who the fuck wants to buy another skirt when you bought two or three in freshman year when you were like 13
- actually by senior year all your uniform pieces are falling apart. even your socks
- boys from your brother school trying to get with you except they haven’t realized that 1) they’re gross testosterone lumps and 2) lesbians are a thing
- that one girl who always wears the optional pants and is absent on days when the skirt is required
- ALL THE POPULAR GIRLS ARE LESBIANS
GROSS TESTOSTERONE LUMPS
OK SO WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I MOVED TO AN ALL GIRLSCHOOL AFTER BEING IN A COMP FOR MOST OF MY SCHOOL LIFE HERE IS WHAT I LEARNT ABOUT GIRLSCHOOL IN MY YEAR THERE:
-BOUNDARIES DO NOT EXIST, IF YOUR TIGHTS ARE FALLING DOWN, YOU HIKE THAT CROTCH UP NO PROBLEMO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALL WAY, GOT CRAMPS? ANNOUNCE IT. NEED A TAMPON? SHOUT DOWN THE HALLWAY SOMEONE WILL GIVE YOU ONE.
-GIRLS ARE MAGICAL PROBLEM SOLVING CREATURES, WE HAD A NO MAKEUP RULE AND IN THAT YEAR I LEARNT HOW TO USE VASELINE AS MASCARA, HOW TO CREATE A ROCK SOLID HAIRBUN THAT STILL LOOKS POOFY AND CUTE AND HOW TO GET RID OF SPOTS USING NOTHING BUT TOOTHPASTE AND ICE.
-GIRLS HAVE WEIRD TRADITIONS LIKE CLEANING OUT LOCKERS ALL AT ONCE AND TRADING THINGS DOWN BECAUSE UNIFORM AND STUFF IS EXPENSIVE AND PEOPLE LIKE TO TRADE JEWELLERY AND THINGS IDK I NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS.
-GIRLS ARE PACK ANIMALS, IT DIDN’T MATTER IF YOU HATED THAT BITCH IF A GUY CHEATED ON HER OR HURT HER IN ANY WAY HE WAS UNDATABLE TO THE ENTIRE FORM.
-I AM HELLA GAY.
that last bullet tho
Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
This is true. Possibly, though, there would be consequences, since fate seems to favor them. It’s quite possible that, in time, you would forget that you weren’t always an Addams, too.
I fail to see the downside here.
Idk how canon this is, but, in the Addams Family musical, there’s a part where Gomez & Morticia each admit that they BOTH thought Grandma was the other’s mother. So like. Who the FUCK is that old woman?
That was me bitch
tag yourself ; gothic literature edition
Frankenstein: The great outdoors, half-read books, unorthodox ideas, pencil sketches, easily frightened, contemplates existence a lot, dislikes winter
The Picture of Dorian Gray: Old bookshelves, bold fashion choice, loud laughs, philosophical conversations, kisses on the hand, can be a dick sometimes, loves new languages but never commits
Dracula: Red lipstick stains, white billowy dresses, always cold to the touch, flickering candles, has eye circles, wants to believe in ghosts, only likes religion for the aesthetic
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde: Filled notebooks, foggy evenings, afraid of failure, oversized clothing, secretive whispers, stays up too late, bottles up emotions
The Phantom of the Opera: Rose petals, old perfume, being an overdramatic bitch, sings to self, handwritten letters, snowy nights, secret spaces
Diary's Blog 