Rey: OK, time to go through all that stuff I stole out of that tree. [picking up a VHS tape] “Get to Know The Jedi Order”. Hmm. Seems as good a place to start as any. [puts it into a tape player on the Falcon]
Mace Windu: [walking in the Room of a Thousand Fountains] Hi. I’m Mace Windu, Jedi Master. Thank you for your purchase of this informative holo cassette tape about the Jedi Order. We’re glad you’ve taken an interest in learning more about our unique way of life. Many people wonder what life in our Temple is like. We invite you [awkwardly gestures] to join me and find out for yourself.
[shot of the cafeteria] Mace: [voiceover] We begin our day like many beings: with a morning meal. It isn’t easy to meet the dietary needs of so many different species! Ahsoka: [eating a giant raw steak with her bare hands] Obi-Wan: [lost in thought, writing something on a datapad, surrounded by 15 empty cups of caf and drinking another one]
Mace: [standing in the dojo while Anakin and Obi-Wan spar] For many Jedi, meditation, yoga, or even combat practice might be a part of their morning. But don’t worry – training sabers ensure that no one gets hurt. Anakin: [getting slapped in the ass with a training saber and giggling like an idiot] Ooh, that’s it! You’re mine! Mace: [looking uncomfortable, then forcing a smile] Yes, we have fun here.
[Quinlan Vos and Jocasta Nu, standing in the Archives and animatedly arguing, unaware they’re on film]
Mace: [voiceover] As perhaps the galaxy’s biggest family, camaraderie is a cornerstone of the Jedi Order. We often work together to help one another learn the ways of the Force, using materials from our famous Archives. Jocasta: The sign clearly states no food or drink in the archives, Master Vos! Quinlan: [mouth full, crumbs everywhere] I wasn’t eating anything! Jocasta: I can see you chewing! [reaches forward and tries to pry his mouth open] I’ll have you banned for life! Mace: [blocking them from the camera] Heh. Yes, we also often learn by engaging in spirited debate with one another. Shaak Ti: [off camera] We’ll cut this part later. Mace: [nods at the camera]
Mace: Our Order is fortunate to benefit from the wisdom of many Jedi elders. Master Yoda, our Grandmaster, is over 800 years old. Jedi often find solace in his gentle, tranquil presence and quiet dignity. Yoda: [in a room full of younglings, clearly teaching them how to launch themselves onto the ceiling] With more panache, young one! Sell the leap, you must! [a small child goes ricocheting around the room] Mace: [to someone off-camera] We should have rehearsed this more.
Mace: [in the Senate building] Many Jedi regularly interact with our important partners in the Senate, helping politicians across the galaxy maintain peace in their worlds. [turning to Bail Organa] Like my friend here, Senator Organa of Alderaan. Bail: [shaking his hand stiffly, over-rehearsed] Here’s to another great day of protecting democracy, Master Windu. [cheesy smile] Palpatine: [behind them, smirking at the camera as he walks by]
[exterior shot of the Temple at night] Mace: [walking down a hallway] A Jedi’s life requires absolute mental focus and physical fitness. So, you’ll often find us turning in early after a productive day for a good night’s sleep. Our hallowed halls, bustling and noisy during the day, are silent as our Jedi rest up. [Obi-Wan, inebriated, fumbling with his keys in the background] Obi-Wan: [exaggerated whisper] SHHHH AN’KIN. His, he’s, he’s doing the thing. The program. [snickering] Stop doing that. Anakin: [totally trashed, falling all over Obi-Wan] Who, who is? Who’s…what thing? [lowering his voice] You’ve got real nice hair… Mace: [to the camera, hastily] I, I hope you’ve enjoyed this chance to learn more about the Jedi…Jedi Order. [shoving Obi-Wan and Anakin into their quarters] Thank you for joining me, and may the Force be with you. [forces a final smile] [breaking character] For kriff’s sake, can we have one normal damned day around here? Force! Well, we’re out of money so that’ll have to be good enough, I guess. Don’t leave this last part in there.
What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?
My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually
Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.
What if there are aliens out there but they subsist on entirely different substances and they’re just scared as shit of us and our crazy ass hell planet? Once in a while some alien anthropologist type suggests checking out the people on this inhabited planet out towards the galaxy’s edge. The other aliens just look at the naive academic with horror. No!! We do not go to that world. That is where the DEATH BREATHERS live. They recreationally consume poisons and are more or less composed of biological fire. Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel. We must leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace. Do not go there. Do not.
I tend to always reblog posts about humans being terrifying weirdos to aliens.
okay but…that is actually what went down on earth about 2.5 billion years ago.
Earth was doing just fine with a mostly nitrogen/carbon dioxide atmosphere and everyone was happy to go on living in anaerobic bliss and then cyanobacteria suddenly hit the scene, altered the atmosphere composition so that there was a ton of oxygen gas and killed practically everything (97% or more of all species on earth).
We are literally descendants of the DEATH BREATHERS and cyanobacteria is our deadly mother.
The cyanobacteria holocaust is so big, it doesn’t even have a cool name; it’s just called “The Great Oxygenation Event”; the *second* most apocalyptic extinction event in our planet’s history is the one that’s called THE GREAT DYING (the Permian-Triassic event, about 252 million years ago).
This shit makes like the rock-throwing that wiped out the dinosaurs look like kindergarten.
OH HOW I LOVE THIS POST. It makes me so much happier about being alive. I AM BURNING VERY SLOWLY. *hugs it*
“We invite the children of same-sex couples to listen,” said the radio announcer. “We invite the children of different-sex couples to listen. We do NOT invite the Children of the Corn to listen.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” a different voice cut in. “Some of our best friends are…” *realized what he was saying was ridiculous* “… corn.”
People need to realize the significance of this post, because when I reblogged it it was just blank so I think some people may not understand what this is trying to say
Adopting an animal (or buying from someone close to you who has recently had puppies, kittens, etc) is not like simply going to the store and buying a toy. You do not just get to throw it away once you are done with it and it stops being cute in your eyes
This is a real living thing that has emotions, needs, and wants, not something to be thrown away when YOU are done after YOU entered at commitment to raise and care for this animal.
What’s just as bad as dumping the animal off just anywhere you want, whether it be on the side of the road or in a shelter, is that a lot of these animals end up dying after that. Animals are NOT always adopted and strays are not always picked up. Animals can get put down, run over, tortured, and a list of other things
People should really think about what they are responsible for before they bring an animal into their life
Not to mention that that animal loves you, you are his world, and when you drop him off at the shelter – or worse, in the street – you are abandoning him. He doesn’t know what he did wrong, he thinks you’ll come back, maybe you just dropped him off for a bit and you’ll come back to him. Not only did you make a commitment, but that animal loves you and throwing them away isn’t just breaking that commitment, it’s throwing away someone who doesn’t understand why you don’t love him anymore and where you went.
This is so important. Animals are NOT toys you just can’t return them because you got bored. Think first before you buy a cute little puppy for your stupid girlfriend or sister or whatever. Okay. This just make me so mad that I can’t keep talking about it. Seriously you have no heart if you do this. Seriously
With Christmas coming up in a few weeks, I felt this needed reiterating.
Reblogging for the holidays. Know what you’re getting into when buying a pet!
This! My cat has abandonment issues. The first time I went away for a weekend, he licked a good chunk of his hair off his stomach. It’s never grown back. It thankfully did not get bigger and he knows I’m always coming home but still. Multiple people abandoned my poor cat before I adopted him. I’ve left him alone a few times over the year since I’ve had him and he knows I’m always coming back but it still kills me to leave him knowing that. Animals have feelings just like humans. Dont be a dick, don’t just adopt animals for a present when you are not prepared to take care of them for the rest of their life.
Growing up my parents taught me that if you’re too sick to [insert responsibility here] then you’re too sick to [insert something that makes you happy here].
It took me a really long time to unlearn this. When I would get sick or have a “bad day” I would deprive myself of anything that made me happy. Watching movies, eating something I enjoyed, going for a walk, playing video games or just browsing online looking at funny cat videos. I wouldn’t let myself do these things because I was always told that if I’m too sick to go to work, or do homework, or go to school then I must be too sick to play Mortal Kombat or watch Unsolved Mysteries lol.
Whenever I wouldn’t feel good, which I later learned as an adult was due to sleep deprivation caused by my ADHD and depression (and of course the depression itself would cause me to feel like shit), my parents would tell me “if you’re not throwing up, then you’re not sick.” And when I would stay home from school (or even work in my later teen years) my parents would make sure that I didn’t have any “fun.” No TV, no movies, no games, no going outside, no arts and crafts, no books, no nothing. Just lay in bed and feel miserable.
I’m happy to say that I no longer do this to myself. Now when I’m having a bad day or I’m sick (cold, flu or whatever) I allow myself to do the things (within reason lol) that I actually love doing. If I’m not too sick to step outside for a few minutes then I’ll go for a walk. I’ll watch my favorite movies and if it’s a bad day or a cold (something that doesn’t hinder my appetite too much) I’ll eat my favorite foods. I don’t guilt trip myself anymore for having a “sick day.”
Just because you’re sick (whether physically, emotionally or mentally) doesn’t mean that you can’t do things you enjoy. You’re not any less sick because you watch TV. You’re not any less sick because you’re playing video games.
Actually you SHOULD be doing these things when you’re not feeling good because they make you feel better. The better you feel, the faster your heal.
Thank you! I needed to read this.
My job isn’t physically demanding – I work in an office doing data analysis and database system configuration and maintenance stuff. I’m a spreadsheets nerd, basically. On my days off, I play games on my computer. So you’d think, I’m just spending all day staring at a screen either way, right? So if I’m too sick for one, I should be too sick for the other. Right?
But there’s a huge difference in effort required for pulling myself out of bed to my computer 20 feet away in the room down the hall, where I can huddle in my chair with a blanket and dick around in Stardew Valley or go blow shit up in Warframe all day without ever talking to another human being aside from Ozz, versus getting up early, making myself look professional and polished, leaving on time, driving to work, and spending 8 hours sitting up straight, interacting with people (which means being socially “on” and keeping up professional demeanor as well as appearance), attending meetings and making calls, having to be focused and mentally “on” enough to keep my work accurate and produce the high-quality deliverables my team relies on me for. If going to work requires an 8 out of 10 on the functionality scale, and playing a videogame requires like a 3, then it’s very easy to be too sick to go to work, without necessarily being depleted down to a 0 and unable to do anything other than laying in bed being miserable. It’s not a contradiction to say “I’m too sick to put out the effort to go to work/school” and also “I am not too sick to play videogames” even if they’re both “just sitting at a computer”.
I’ve even outright said as much when I’ve been feeling crappy and needed to leave early. “Look, I’m not functional enough to actually be productive right now, so I can either sit here and stare blankly at my work screen, or I can go home and stare blankly at my videogame screen, and if I’m not accomplishing much of anything either way I’d rather not be here wasting everyone’s time / the company’s money paying me for work I’m not doing.”
does anyone ever do the opposite of dissociate?? where youre just suddenly and uncomfortably aware of your situation and reality
more to the point why do i get that feeling when im sitting on top of my kitchen table watching a velveeta mac and cheese pack spin in the microwave for three and a half minutes and im just like I Exist I Am Here And Theres Nothing I Can Do About It
okay this one wins, everyone can stop reblogging this now
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